What does your negative thought spiral sound like? My negative thought spiral generally (but also mostly *insert awkward gritting teeth emoji here*) goes something like this:

"Ah... I have worked so hard. Time for a break!"

"Alright, I've been sitting down long enough, it's probably time to get back to work."

"Why am I being so lazy? What is wrong with me? Why don't I feel like working?"

"If don't get this work done, I'm going to be behind before the week even starts."

"In fact, not only will I be behind, but if I don't get this task done then everyone will notice and be mad that I didn't do it."

*Scrolls through social media* "Oh my god SEE- everyone else is being productive and doing all of the things and I am just sitting here scrolling on social media and if I don't get up and work right now I'm going to fail at life and everyone will be disappointed and I'll also be disappointed in myself because I know I can do so much better than this blah blah blah I'm a piece of garbage, lazy, and while we're at it why not throw out the word fraud as well."

Well now... I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted and my heart rate is up just reading my own inner dialogue. It's just too damn much, and also frankly just super unhelpful.

I've done a lot of work to keep these spirals to a minimum, but let me be super honest about something... Over years of work, therapy, and reflecting, I've learned that your inner critic voice never goes away. It just becomes a conscious choice of whether you want to listen to it and BELIEVE it or not.

Here is something I practice when I recognize I'm in a thought spiral (or one is on the horizon): I practice listening to my thoughts as if they are a separate person or idea without actually believing them. Think of that inner dialogue like a toddler throwing a tantrum. How can you respond to the thoughts without believing them as true?

This goes something like:

Critic self: "Ah... I have worked so hard. Time for a break!"
Conscious self: "You're absolutely right, I think a break is a great idea."

Critic self: "Alright, I've been sitting down long enough, it's probably time to get back to work."
Conscious self: "Maybe, but it also sounds like you're not totally ready to go back to work. Are you avoiding work because it's hard or because you need more rest?"

Critic self: "It's just that if I'm NOT doing work then I don't feel like I'm being productive."
Conscious self: "Just a gentle reminder that you have been conditioned to believe productivity is a measure of 'goodness' as a person but that actually has nothing to do with your worth and rest is just as important as work."

Critic self: "If don't get this work done, I'm going to be behind before the week even starts."
Conscious self: "Let's prioritize. What actually needs to be done today and what can wait?"

Critic self: "X needs to be done, but I guess Y doesn't..."
Conscious self: "Awesome. I'm proud of you for recognizing that. How about we do X and when we're done X we take the rest we are allowed and that gives us joy and we can do Y tomorrow?"

This may sound super cheesy, but allows me to separate myself from the original unhelpful thought spiral.

In the wise words of Brené Brown: "I have two questions I ask myself when I'm about to freak out. The first is 'do I have enough information here to freak out?' The answer is usually no. The second is 'will freaking out help this situation?'. The answer is always no."