Have you ever been told that you need to change something about yourself?

I mean, I feel like you probably just screamed yes because I personally don't see another available option. If it's remotely validating, I also screamed yes (with GUSTO).

Whether it's how we dress, how we look, our body, the food we eat, or our personal goals and beliefs, we are bombarded with messages that tell us we need to be something different from whatever and whoever we are.

Is personal growth important? Absolutely. But is who we are broken, flawed, or in need of fixing? Absolutely NOT.

A problem with the "keep growing as a person" messages combined with the "you're never good enough as you are" messages we receive around us is this: we are always striving but never satisfied.

As a recovering perfectionist this has been a fast-track to burnout, shame, and self-loathing for me. I am always trying to be "the best version of me", shaming past versions of myself in the process for not being better.

What if instead of "becoming someone different", we looked at change as "experiencing things differently"?

Here's what this looks like in practice:

Instead of "I need to get better at setting boundaries, why can't I just say no?" you practiced: "Setting boundaries is a new skill of mine and it's going to take time. Who can I surround myself with who will make learning this skill a good experience?"

Instead of "My body isn't good enough, I need to be stronger, I'm so weak" you practiced: "This workout isn't right for me, I feel overwhelmed. What other options are there?"

Instead of "I need to become more efficient at work. Everyone else gets so much done and I'm so lazy" you practiced: "I have no idea what anyone else's lives look like, but frankly I'm exhausted and here is one small manageable step I can take today to do the work I want."

You are enough exactly as you are. How can you experience your life differently instead of shaming and bullying yourself?